Children and Divorce
Children suffer from a divorce as much as, if not more than, their parents. It is important to realize that your actions can permanently affect your children.
Typically before spouses begin to think about getting a divorce, the relationship has deteriorated to the point of excessive fighting. This fighting, if done in front of or within earshot of the children, can be very damaging. Parents should keep this in mind when making accusations or calling each other names. If possible, the parents should keep the fighting to a minimum.
During and after a divorce, parents sometimes vent their frustrations with the other parent to their children or lean on their children for emotional support. These actions are absolutely detrimental to the child's mental, and sometimes physical, health. Children often feel as though they have to "choose" between their parents, feel guilty for listening to one parent talk badly about the other, or feel guilty for not "being there" for a parent who needs to "vent". It is extremely important to not put your child in this position. Spouses need to remember that their children are just that: children. Children are not to be leaned on for emotional support or used as sounding boards.
Parents also often use their children as "pawns" in the divorce - whether intentional or not. Parents must keep in mind that the child's best interest is the priority of the family court, and should be the priority of the parents as well. It is important that the children spend as much time as possible with each parent. Parents need to be mindful that using the children to hurt the other parent (such as withholding visitation, etc), hurts the child as much as, if not more than, the other parent.
The Fourth Judicial Circuit mandates attendance at a parent education and family stabilization course called "Children First in Divorce" prior to granting a divorce. This class helps spouses effectively parent during and after a divorce. Parents must register for this class within 10 days of filing for divorce (or within 10 days of being served), and complete the course (evidenced by a Certificate of Completion) prior to the final judgment being signed by the judge. More information on this course can be found at http://www.hope-haven.org/divorce-counseling/.
For more information on Children and Divorce, visit the websites listed below:
Tips for Divorcing Parents (Nemours Foundation)
Cleaveland & Adair, P.L.
DIVORCE AND BANKRUPTCY ATTORNEYS
1309-105 St. Johns Bluff Road North
Jacksonville, Florida 32225
(904) 642-2040